Heading to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota tomorrow afternoon. We’re going for a second opinion, to see if there is anything more we can be doing. We’re anxious. Very. Need-to-remember-to-breath anxious.
It’s not that we’re going to receive any bad news. We’re going to see if there is anything in addition to what we’re doing. If there isn’t, then we continue as we are. Still, tests are stressful, seeing new doctors and nurses are stressful. The unknown is stressful.
For Steve, filling out the paperwork and knowing he’ll have to retell his story is stressful. They’ll have his medical records, but they’ll want to hear it from him too. Repeating the events of the last almost-10 years of treatments, procedures, surgeries, etc. is kind of traumatic. Not only do the memories flood back, but it’s just a general feeling of being overwhelmed by all that has happened and is still happening. It can seem unbearable at times. Cruel sometimes too, but it’s all part of the process.
For me, the thought of going to more appointments feels like I’m going to drown…I just can’t catch my breath. Sometimes I wonder if I can really do this again. I’m by Steve’s side as much as possible. Often it’s just one step at a time, one moment at a time. Getting ready to travel (it’s about 3.5 hours) adds stress…making arrangements for lodging, the house/dogs, etc and just being away from home.
Even though we’re experiencing this overwhelming stress and anxiety, we’re grateful we have so many praying for us, thinking of us and supporting us. We had a good few days with family and have Christmas to look forward to as well.
Those who know the power of prayer, will understand what I mean when I say we can feel others praying for us. We really can. It lifts us up, it calms us, it makes us feel less isolated and alone in this situation (which is more mental/emotional than physical reality). We ask that you pray for us over the next few days (we hopefully get back on Thursday). Thank you.
Jenn A to Z 
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