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Complete Peace

The report is that I have little to report. This is not a bad thing, really. Steve finished radiation a week ago last Friday. The side-effects of radiation often start several days after the first session and then last several days after the final session. The first week of radiation went fine. Little fatigue (other than the norm) and no other side-effects really. Then, during the second week, the fatigue set in and that lasted for about a week afterwards. Steve is finally starting to come out of that, but still requires extra sleep during the day and not a lot of activity otherwise. His breathing has improved greatly and the coughing is finally quieting some.
We currently are doing no treatment. While I understand how chemo works, I don’t really know about radiation aside from the very basics. I do know that radiation damages cells and that when they try to reproduce, they can’t and just die. This is a good thing where cancer is concerned, but the radiation hits other areas along the way, which is why being exposed to radiation, in general, is not a good idea to say the least. My point is that maybe we are doing treatment in the way that waiting a time after radiation is part of the procedure. Still…
I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s worth repeating again and again because it’s so easy to forget: Often, ending/stopping treatment is harder than beginning treatment. On the surface it doesn’t make sense, but when you think about it, it does. Starting treatment means you are actively doing something. As hard as treatment is, you’re fighting the cancer. Ending/stopping treatment means you’re no longer fighting it (in the general sense) and that’s a very scary thing. I had no idea that ending/stopping (there’s a difference) treatment would be so frightening until I was told by others that it is normal. It just didn’t make sense to me, but now it does and that’s why I continue to repeat it…so others will know and remember.
There is a plaque in my kitchen, a little brown plaque that it easy to miss, but that reads: Be Still and Know that I am God. That is, in my belief system, one of the most profound and deeply desired objective of our God: To have Complete Peace despite circumstance.
I wrote that last paragraph and then sat at my desk staring at it for a good five minutes. Complete Peace despite circumstance. Imagine. I get glimmers of that peace, more now than before. My human brain is gifted with a quick thought process so to tame my mind of splintering off like a lightening strike is often difficult. Still…that Complete Peace is something not beyond my grasp if I’m willing to quiet myself and trust.
That’s where we are now. We have no idea what’s next in terms of treatment. There are fewer options than we would like, but we are grateful that science continues to create new methods of fighting this disease. Still…while we desperately desire complete health for Steve (and for everyone, for the matter), we know that Complete Peace is what we need. There will always be something in life that is less than ideal, but that Complete Peace is available.
Please continue to pray for Steve’s healing. Pray that we we are able to feel that Complete Peace. Also pray that YOU are able to feel it too. Share your stories (below or out in the world) of how you felt peace despite your circumstances. How you sat in the eye of the storm and were ok. Cancer is something not everyone has to fight, but worry is. Pray for peace and see what happens. I will too.






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